Haunted
by msnaradobe
Summary: Shikamaru Nara, Age 22, With a new home, a new job, and a new girlfriend, he finds his life on the verge of exhausting. To top it all of, he can't seem to stop thinking about his ex. ShikaIno, Rated M for language and possible future lemons Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or it's characters
1. Chapter 1

"Shikamaru"

He could feel her breath softly brush against his ear and it made his heart skip a beat, he wanted to smile but he remained his composure. He had been laying on this hill with her for about an hour now. Watching the clouds with her head on his chest, they did this often after long days of training. But what she didn't know, was when she thought he had fallen asleep he was really just relishing in being next to her. She made him feel safe, whole, home. It had been that way their entire lives. He kept his eyes closed, knowing how much it irritated her.

"Shikamaru!" Ino giggled and pushed against his side playfully "I gotta go! wake up." She nibbled on his earlobe only to hear a deep grunt of irritation from the brunette and a strong arm lock around her waist pulling her closer to him.

"neh…no sorry. I like you better here" he let a small smile reach his lips and he opened his brown eyes to look up into her blue ones. Her blonde hair falling to the side of his head and tickling his neck

"Dad is expecting me at the shop in like ten minutes." She smiled down at him, a light blush forming on her cheeks. "nap time is over."

Shikamaru chuckled and nuzzled into her neck, placing a few small kisses there as he felt her breath catch in her throat. He could still smell the scent of her floral perfume, even after a day's training session. "Fine. Kiss first, then I'll let go." He trailed his slender fingers along the small of her back, earning her prize winning grin and he closed his eyes as he felt her slowly press her soft pink lips against his. His could feel his cheeks getting hot.

"I love you Shikamaru…Shikamaru….Shikamaru?"

He opened his eyes to a familiar blackness. The Grassy hill gone. He touched his face, rubbing at his eyes to focus. He was sweating, burning up. His cheeks were hot from tears. Sitting up, his brown hair fell into his face and he swallowed back the gulp in his throat. He was in a bedroom.

"Shikamaru are you okay?" He looked to his left to see a frizzy haired blonde with concerned eyes and a sleepy demeanor. "it's 4 am."

"Temari…what…sorry…I must have had a bad dream." He ran his hand through his hair and sighed softly "Go back to sleep, I'm alright. I think I need a cigarette."

Shikamaru leaned over to place a soft kiss on his girlfriend's cheek and got out of bed, pulling his hair into a quick sloppy ponytail before he pulled on a pair of shorts and walked out of the bedroom quietly. The small apartment was dark, the city quiet. Shikamaru didn't bother turning on any lights as he moved about, grabbing a pack of smokes and asuma's lighter as he made his way out onto the front porch. Sitting down, the brunette leaned against the wooden railing, feeling the cold wood on his exposed back as he looked out over the dark deserted street in the sand village. "…fucking drag" he mumbled, lighting his cigarette and placing it between his lips. That was not the first time his subconscious had betrayed him. He took in a long breath before slowly exhaling, watching the smoke disappear into the night.

Flipping open the lid on asumas lighter, he quickly closed it again, repeating the motion slowly over and over, trying to clear his mind. Shikamaru hated it in the Sand village… he hated it so much. It was too quiet, too brown. The earth was brown and dry, the people were often covered in dirt and smelled of sweat. The wind was always blowing sand into his eyes…The sky was blue… but there were hardly ever any clouds, and it was so HOT. Even when the sun wasn't out. Shikamaru wiped his brow at the thought. There weren't even any animals. He agreed to move here a couple years ago for Temari, she wanted to be closer to her family, and after Asuma and his father died, Shikamaru didn't particularly wan't to be in the leaf either. But now, He had to admit that what he longed for more than anything else was the feel of green grass beneath his fingertips, the smell of wildflowers, and the sound of deer hooves in his families' forest.

He didn't blame her, Temari… He knew it was his choice to follow her here. Even if he had been kind of a pushover. Telling her no usually proved to be more troublesome than he wanted to deal with. And he did love her, in his own way. She was a strong woman, reminded him of his mother. She knew what she wanted, and she could be rather sweet when they were alone together. Which was usually enough for him.

Shikamaru sighed and leaned over to put what was left of the cigarette out in the ashtray next to him. The sun had begun to rise. He knew he had to be at his shitty desk job in a few hours… so there was no going back to sleep now. Even if he wanted to, his dreams had not been kind to him lately. Shikamaru walked quietly back into his living room, he turned on the overhead light and walked into his Kitchen to start a pot of coffee. Yes, coffee, he needed coffee… He glanced at the calendar that was hanging on his refrigerator. September 21st. The day before his 23rd birthday, Two days before Ino's.

They had always celebrated together growing up. He felt his heart give a squeeze of sadness. He blamed the date for the recent dreams he was having of his ex-girlfriend. But in his heart he knew the date didn't matter. He thought of her every day, even when he didn't want to. He hadn't seen Ino in five years… talked to her in about four, but she was still with him, every moment of every day like a fucking poltergeist. He sat down at the dining room table to drink his coffee and he turned on the small Tv, turning the volume down so as not to wake Temari, who was snoring softly in the next room.

Pictures flashed over the screen, He couldn't hear much of what the narrator was saying since the volume was so low, but it was some nature show, documenting forest life. His heart gave another ache as he looked at the white tailed deer grazing peacefully. He took another drink of coffee to try to drown it out, but to no avail, he used to be so good with the deer back home. People sometimes mocked him for it…

The sun beat down on him as he reached out his arm, extending his slender fingers to touch a blade of coarse green grass. How many minutes had he spent in this spot? On a slightly sloped hill in his families' grove counting the clouds as they floated gently past his field of vision. He couldn't remember, but he didn't really care. Shika closed his narrow brown eyes and ripped a handful of grass up from the earth, twisting the bits into small coils absent mindedly when he felt a familiar warm breath and soft lip trying to open his palm. Chuckling lowly he opened his eyes to see the familiar deer standing above him.

"Sorry Buddy, I'm tearing up your dinner aren't I?" he flattened his palm to let the animal chew on the grass. It wasn't uncommon for the forests deer to be so open with him and the members of his family. The deer that mostly populated these woods had never even been hunted thanks to the nara's after all. It was the most peaceful place in the village, which is why Shikamaru liked it here. It was also why he was so irritated when he heard heavy footsteps crashing through the underbrush…

"GAGHHH STOP!" He heard a familiar deep voice pant loudly and the deer, now startled, quickly jumped over him and ran in the opposite direction. Kicking dirt in his face in the process.

"UGHhh Choji?!"

Shikamaru stood and brushed himself off as he watched his best friend charge into the clearing. Choji and Shikamaru's fathers had been great friends growing up, so the two had essentially been raised together. Along with-

"God I'm sorry! ITS HER FAULT!" The large round boy pointed behind him at the obviously amused blonde girl who was slowly following him into view, clenching her stomach as she howled with laughter that sometimes made Shikamaru's ears want to bleed.

"Ino, what the hell?" Shika rubbed his temples. The small blonde flashed Shikamaru a smile that made his stomach twist. Her pale face was flushed from the laughter. Ino had always been the mischievous one, Shikamaru wasn't shy about letting her know how much it irritated him, but secretly he found it endearing. Sometimes he was jealous of how easily she found joy in the world around them when he mostly found everything troublesome.

"SHE WAS CHASING ME WITH A SPIDER!" Choji shivered at the word. He had been terrified of them since they were small.

"oh shut it pudge pie, it was just a weed." She teased and tossed what was left of it into the dirt, wiping off her hands on her skirt.

Choji blushed and rubbed the back of his neck nervously "…it was a convincing spider"

Shikamaru let out a small chuckle and looked over at the guilty party

"You're awful."

"What are friends for?" She beamed

"Say you're sorry" Shikamaru smirked and sat back down in his favorite spot, crossing his legs. Ino stared at the brunette for a moment, pouting, before she faced Choji.

"I'm Sorry you're so easy to scare" she giggled and walked over to Shikamaru tugging at the strands of hair in his ponytail softly "Don't get too comfortable, we've come to bring you home. We have the chunin exams in a few days and Pinky needs his brain" she poked at his temple.

"hey why am I pinky?" Choji frowned "you're the dumb one" He crossed his arms, clearly displeased.

"What because I'm blonde that makes me dumb! REAL MATURE Choji!" She hissed

"I NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT YOU BEING BLONDE, just DUMB Ino." Choji retorted.

Shikamaru laughed "shut up both of you before you scare away all the wildlife in the village." He flashed his friends a grin "Besides, the answer is no. Asuma has ordered us to rest, we train or study anymore and we will be drained before the exams even start."

"Welp, you heard the man Chubby. Looks like we're on our own. Oh well. If Asuma said no training I GUESS I can find it in myself to relax." Ino giggled and sat down next to Shikamaru, laying back "Guess I'll just get some beauty sleep. Your welcome." She smiled, folding her arms behind her head.

Choji pouted, unamused "What now I have to study by myself and you're not paying for my lunch? Fine. But when we go into the exams and your relying on MY intelligence we'll see who is laughing then. Later Shikamaru, Ino pig." He chuckled, stealing the pet name that Ino's rival called her, and he turned around, leaving the clearing before she could retaliate.

She sat up quickly, a look of sheer irritation on her face as she watched Choji run away before she could respond. Ino looked over at Shikamaru pouting. "you just going to let him talk to me like that?"

"Yup" the brunette chuckled, only to be greeted by a stiff punch to the shoulder by the blonde "ow! God I'm just kidding" he laughed and leaned back once more on the grass.

Ino looked over at her best friend, drinking in his features. She had always loved Shikamaru, he had always been there for her, ever since they were babies, and now that she was growing out of her girlish features she had developed some newer feelings for the brunette "Look at you, your covered in grass. What were you doing anyway?" She teased

Shikamaru gave her a small smirk that made her heart flutter and he brushed some more grass off his lap "I was feeding that deer before you loudmouths scared it away" he pointed toward the tracks the deer left as it had run away.

"Feeding it?" she shook her head and laughed, brushing her bangs behind her ear "I don't believe it. Deer are too skittish"

"Not the ones around here they aren't….as long as you know how to approach them" he smiled

"I still don't believe you… I've never seen a deer that close before" ino bit her bottem lip and shrugged, looking back up at the clouds

Shikamaru gave the blonde his winning smile, one that he didn't use often… come here… I wanna show you something." He stood up and reached his hand out to her "do you trust me?"

Ino blushed softly before she nodded and took his hand letting him pull her onto her feet. "What is it?"

Shikamaru shook his head no playfully "just follow me okay. And be quiet." He looked up at the sun, which had begun to set, he helped his father track the herd through these forests dozens of times, he was pretty sure where he might see something magical. He watched Ino nod in agreement and he took her hand, leading her slowly behind her through the trees, deeper into the underbrush

Ino just watched him, she wasn't a quiet person, but for once she was speechless. The way the setting sun glowed through the leaves in the trees and the way Shikamaru kept glancing playfully back at her, his hand never leaving hers, she felt warm. It was a few minutes they just walked like that, just slowly moving in a beautiful silence until Shikamaru stopped suddenly and pushed her back gently against a tree "Wha?"

"Shh" he whispered pressing his finger against his lip. They were so close that Shikamaru could feel her breath against his shoulder "Look." He smiled encouragingly and pointed just past the tree they were standing behind.

Ino looked over her shoulder at first, before she let go of Shikamaru's hand and turned in place so her back was to him. She placed her hands on the tree in front of her for support as she peeked around it, and what she saw made her lips part in a small gasp, just feet away from her were deer. About a dozen of them. All standing in a small meadow that was filled with thousands of wild flowers. Some of them were laying down in the grass, some were grazing, and some were drinking water from a small stream in the far corner "my god" she breathed and she felt Shikamaru rest his hands on her hips as he watched over her shoulder

"I know…this is true beauty" he spoke quietly into her ear and Ino closed her eyes for a moment before she looked back out at the meadow. The setting sun shimmered against the stream, and the clearing glowed with a light that she had only seen in her dreams. The wind blew lightly and the flowers and grass rolled around the animals as if they were anchored to the ground. It was the most peaceful thing she had ever seen in her life.

"Do you want to touch one?" He said against her ear. She was so warm under his hands; he knew if he didn't make himself move soon he may never move again.

Ino glanced back at him with a worried look "What if I scare them away again?" her blue eyes met his brown ones and Shikamaru couldn't look away "Just follow my lead." He pointed back at the animals and he wrapped one arm around her waist, pressing his chest against her back as he took her hand in his free hand, walking her very slowly out into the clearing. The deer glanced up at them curiously but didn't move.

Shikamaru lifted Ino's arm, extending it toward the animals and opened her hand flat. "be still." He coaxed and plucked a handful of grass to place in her palm. "just relax" Shikamaru flashed the blonde another knowing smile before turning toward the animals. "tsk tsk tsk...here here." He called out softly and Ino saw the closest deer, a small buck walk toward them slowly until Ino felt it begin to eat out of her hand happily.

"see…" Shika smiled, his brown eyes bright and Ino let herself grin. Before long the two were surrounded by a few of them, waiting to say hello and get a handful of grass.

"Shikamaru… this is amazing" she turned around to face him and was once again aware of how close they were before one of the bucks nudged her back, wanting another bite, but ended up just pushing her into his arms. Shikamaru looked amused, but he didn't let go of her. He just let himself gaze into her eyes for a moment too long.

"…yeah… amazing." The two stood there in silence, just looking at each other for a very long time that day. That was the first time he ever wanted to kiss her. Shikamaru would never forget it, and he would always regret not doing it…

The brunette sat his coffee back onto the table and looked at the ring at the bottom of the mug sadly before he turned the Tv back off. He walked into the bathroom and looked into the mirror before he turned on the shower as hot as he could, getting in. He had to be at work soon. He had to snap out of his funk… today was going to be a very long day.


	2. Chapter 2

Hello Readers! Sorry for the long wait for chapter two, and for the kind of short chapter, but I didn't realize anyone was actually interested. I hope you enjoy going on this ride with me! I'll try to have a more frequent update system soon. Please feel free to leave your comments. You all inspire me to keep writing. I promise chapter 3 will be more shikaino and less exposition. Love you guys, and enjoy!

Shikamaru closed his eyes and let the hot shower run down his body. He imagined the water washing the depression off of him, he pictured it as a thick blackness pooling at his feet like a shadow. Turning it into something he might be able to understand, something he might be able to control. He knew that was impossible, but sometimes it helped to visualize that black sludge running down his drain, leaving him feeling lighter. Maybe then he could make himself stand up straight again. The brunette stretched out his arms in front of him and flattened his palms against the shower wall, leaning over to let the waterfall rush over him, pushing his hair into his face.

He looked at his hands. He could see his tan skin and the calluses he got from holding his weapons. He looked down at his body, he could see every scar from every mission, every scratch, every bruise from training. He could feel the sludge of sadness oozing out of each and every orifice, and down the drain. He washed his hair and his face, followed by the rest of his body until he managed to feel clean and he stepped out of the tub. Looking into the steamed mirror he saw a resemblance of what he knew to be himself again. Now he was almost ready to face another day. He pulled on a fresh pair of boxers when he heard a knock on the bathroom door.

"Babe?" Temari opened the bathroom door slowly and looked up at him as she wiped the sleep from her eyes "good morning, you feeling okay? This is the third night this week you have gotten up before the sun." she walked over and put a hand on his cheek, leaning in to give him a slow kiss on the lips before pushing the brown strands of wet hair from his face.

He managed to give her a small smile. She was always so sweet to him in private. "I'm fine Tem. You know how I get around my Birthday. I'll get over it in a week or so." He placed a very small kiss on her forehead before he walked back into their small bedroom to finish getting dressed.

She frowned and picked up her hairbrush, taking it to her hair as she watched him through the doorway "I know, I know… You really miss your family, and Asuma… I hate seeing you miss them so much. Your dad wouldn't want you so upset over your birthday."

Shikamaru's face flattened at the mention of them. "I said I was fine Tem. Really I-"

"No Shika you aren't fine. You haven't been sleeping, you are zoning out all the time, You have been training too much." She sighed "It's okay to miss your friends and your mom. Why don't we take a trip out to the leaf this weekend? We can do the traveling for a change. I bet it will do you good to see your home, be back in your element. You deserve a break."

The brunette shook his head "Idunno Tem. That village has more bad memories for me than good." He took a hand through his hair, tying it back into the high pony he usually wore it in.

She rolled her eyes and started tying her own hair back. She knew what he meant. She pictured him in front of his father's grave, seeing Asuma's. Seeing him hold his mother as she cried. But he was stubborn. That irritated her, because so was she. "Just think it over… Isn't Choji coming to the village tomorrow to visit you for your birthday anyway? We could follow him back, give you more time to catch up." She shrugged "Let's have some fun for once huh?" she gave him a knowing smirk

He returned the small smile "fine, I'll think about it alright?" he pulled on his shoes and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek "now I gotta go to work. I'll see you later." He waited for her to nod before heading for the door.

"I love you" she called out to him

"Love you." He replied as he pulled the door closed behind him. And he did. At least he thought he did. He imagined going home, seeing the desert dwindle behind him and the tall trees grow before his brown eyes. It would be nice to see his mother again. He wrote her regularly, but he hadn't seen her in a little over a year.

Shikamaru walked down the now busy city street, the vendors had started selling their wares, Ninja coming back from long missions looking tired as they were reunited with their friends and families. There were children chasing each other and throwing around the sand, determining who would get to play the role of the Kazekage today. The sand was starting to become very fond of Gaara as their new leader. Shikamaru wanted to be proud to work for him, but at the end of the day, He just spent most of his day behind a desk with the red head. Being in the higher ranks was a lot more boring than he ever thought it would be. He walked into the large sand colored building to see Kankuro pouring his morning coffee.

"Hey there Pineapple head. What are you doing here today? I thought you were supposed to be home with my sister." He flashed a huge grin and gave Shikamaru a wink "Isn't she giving you the Birthday Special." Kankuro gave out a loud belly shaking laugh that made Shikamaru cringe.

"Awe come on Kankuro, she's your sister. It's gross when you say it." He smirked and poured himself the second cup of many cups of coffee he would probably have today. "Besides, my Birthday isn't until tomorrow, I still work today." He leaned against the front desk to take a sip.

Kankuro raised an eyebrow "Oh, wait. No. You don't know? Gaara gave you extra time off."

The brunette gave a rather perplexed look at the puppeteer. "No, why would he do that when I didn't ask for it?"

The man with the painted face smiled "Wow you really don't know? It's because you have a visitor."

Shikamaru opened his mouth to object when he heard the deep howl of laughter he recognized as his best friends coming from down the hallway where the Kazekage's office was. "Choji?" he whispered to himself as he hurried down the hallway to see Gaara leaning against his desk as Choji was telling what he presumed to be a funny story.

"Choji?" He questioned again, this time more vocally as he saw his best friend turn to face him with a huge smile on his face "Hey Shika!" the round man rushed to give his best friend a large hug accompanied by his roaring laughter. Shikamaru couldn't help but to smile. He usually wasn't fond of Choji's death grip bear hugs, but he had missed him so much he didn't mind the fact that he couldn't breathe.

"Enough, please. This is a place of business" Gaara mumbled and crossed his arms. Most saw the ninja as cold and rude, But Shikamaru knew him well enough to know he was just teasing.

Shikamaru wiggled out of the larger man's grasp and laughed happily. Putting his hands on Choji's shoulders, taking a long look at him "Oh man look at you. I thought you didn't want to look just like your dad! You look great man."

Choji smiled, a proud sparkle in his eyes "tell that to yourself. Your just missing the beard." He playfully hit his friend in the chin before he turned to Gaara "It was good to see you Gaara. Thank you for letting me borrow your right hand man for a while"

Gaara gave a small nod "Anytime. He was starting to bum me out anyway. Needs some new stories to tell." He smirked and sat back on his desk "Get him nice and drunk."

Chouji gave out another loud laugh "With great pleasure!"

Shikamaru smiled and looked at the Kazekage "thank you." He glanced over at Choji as they started to exit the building "Did you arrange for me to get an extra day off today? What brings you here so soon? You're a day earlier than I expected you to be."

The round man flashed his favorite brunette another small smile "I did…" Shika saw Choji's smile fade for just a moment before the round man regained his composure and continued to speak. "I just really missed you is all. Figured we had a lot to catch up on…"

Shikamaru saw his exuberant friend's happiness falter for that split second, and it was enough to put him on edge. He opened his mouth to protest before Choji interrupted.

"Shika, do you know a good place to get a drink?" he scratched at the back of his head

The Brunette stopped and turned to face his oldest friend. "At 10 o'clock in the morning?"

Choji chuckled softly and nibbled softly at his lower lip "yeah…"

Shikamaru had a hard time remembering the last time his stomach twisted that quickly into knots… he could see it in his head.

"SENSEIII!" He could still hear her cry in his core. Shikamaru wrapped his arms around the blonde as she held the corpse of their dead teacher. The rain washing the man's blood off her purple dress.

"There was nothing more I could do… I'm so sorry." She wept into the dead man's chest. Just repeating her words softly. Whether to herself, to the dead Asuma, or to the gods, he didn't know.

Shikamaru felt himself become cold. Numb. "Ino…he's gone." His voice was but a whisper in the rain. He could hear Choji sniffling softly next to them. He thought he was going to be sick. After he carried the body home. He couldn't get out of his head for months.

Those months flashed through him like another nightmare.

"Shikamaru…" the blonde sat on his lap, cupping his cheeks in both her hands. She was crying. She was always crying.

"Baby look at me" Ino's blue eyes stared into his empty brown ones. "Stop looking through me!" she begged, she put his hands on her hips, begging him to hold her. She shook him. "SHIKAMARU! LOOK at me."

He couldn't feel his body, he was numb, numb with pain, numb with regret, numb with grief and confusion. He wanted to move with her commands, but his body would not reciprocate.

"SHIKAMARU!" She screamed

"Skikamaru?" Choji snapped him back out of his memory.

"Yeah… I think I could use a drink too... I think I know a place" Shikamaru started to lead Choji to a quiet bar in the corner of town. No one was there besides the bartender, who was opening that day, and a man watching television in the corner, eating a sandwich.

They ordered a bottle of sake, and sat down at a table. After a few drinks, Shikamaru pressed the round man for answers.

"Choji… what is it?... Why are you really here early?"

Choji took a deep breath and looked over at his best friend "Look… I don't know how to tell you this man… but I thought you would want to hear it from me before anyone else told you."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. He could feel his body tensing up but he tried to look calm. He could feel himself holding his breath. "yeah?"

Choji sighed and looked up at his oldest friend.

"Ino's pregnant."


	3. Chapter 3

A few days' prior: The leaf village

Ino Yamanaka found herself laying down in her bathtub, fully clothed and armed with a cellphone in one hand and a used pregnancy test in her other. She opened her eyes to peer up at the pale white stucco ceiling of her bathroom, and unsatisfied she let out a deep breath moving her arms to cover her face again. This can NOT be happening right now. The blonde groaned to herself and tried to focus on her breathing. She could feel the cold hard porcelain pressing against her back and she could imagine the way she must have looked right now. Her long blonde hair spilling out of the small apartment bathtub and onto the floor, her legs pushed onto the wall so she could try to wiggle into a comfortable position as she waited for the small stick in her hand to tell her what her future would be. If she was one of the girls she watched in her soap operas she would have mocked the woman on her drama and idiocrasy. But it wasn't a show, and this was her life. She cringed at the mental image of herself. Ino was not a patient person, and the minutes she had been laying here had already felt like hours. This was not what she had envisioned for herself. She wasn't supposed to be laying here feeling like a used tissue. This was supposed to be exciting for women right…potentially being a mom was supposed to be a blessing… then again most women weren't about to get the news that they were going to be doing this alone… they had partners to help them, to be excited about it… Ino didn't have that.

Her phone beeped softly, indicating the timer has reached zero, and she was afraid to look down at her hands. She sat up and crossed her legs under her before she let herself look down.

"…fuck." A bright Pink Plus.

Ino cried.

She knew she wouldn't be completely alone, she realized she had a support system. She thought of Her father, she thought of her best friends, Choji. Yes, Choji. He had always been there for her. If she wanted anyone's comfort right now it would be his. She felt safer with him around. Though not quite as safe as her other team member had made her feel… Shikamaru's face came to the front of her mind and she pictured his knowing smirk, his deep set brown eyes that seemed to always look directly into her soul, and his sun kissed tan skin that made her wonder if the gods didn't make him in their own image. His face had always been in her mind, drifting in and out of her like the shadows he controlled. She hadn't spoken to him in years, it ended messy, she knew. But even still. She thought of him frequently. She wanted to marry him once. Ino touched her stomach tentatively. If everything hadn't have happened the way it did, she wondered if this child could have been his.

She let herself smile. Even after all they had been through he was still the first person she thought of when she was afraid. Ever since they were children…

Ino sat in her bedroom. The young girl dressed in her nightgown as she cuddled herself in her blankets. It was a dark night in October, so of course she was watching a horror movie marathon that in hindsight she knew she shouldn't have been watching. When she heard a small knock on the window. Looking over quickly she jumped to see Shikamaru in a rather horrific looking wolf mask. Peering at her from behind the glass and now howling with laughter.

"SHIKAMARU NARA YOU ANIMAL!" She moved to open the window and gave him a hard punch to the shoulder that almost sent him backwards off of the roof ledge.

"Gahh! Jeez sorry you just looked like suck an easy target" he chuckled and let himself into her bedroom, pulling off his mask and tossing it onto her desk as he hopped through the window.

"how come you didn't come to Choji's Halloween party?" he sat down on the side of her bed and was soon joined by a pouting Ino. She crawled back into her previous heap of blankets and made a small shrug.

"It just seemed silly to me is all, aren't we getting a little old for Halloween Parties? Were genin now. We have training in the morning."

Shikamaru chuckled and folded his legs under him "Ino, it's just a little fun." He glanced over at the television and pressed his lips together in a thoughtful line. "Is this really scaring you?" his brown eyes met her blue ones and her playful smile evaporated.

"no… not exactly" she pulled her knees up into her chest and rested her head on them, giving Shikamaru a thoughtful look, weighing whether or not she should continue. Shikamaru thought she looked like a doll, beautiful and unmoving as she contemplated.

"What's on your mind huh?" the brunette prompted and tilted his head slightly and curiously to the side.

Ino gave him another look before she nibbled nervously on her bottom lip and continued "were genin now… everything is going to change… we will be in charge of protecting the lives of everyone in this village… I remember when I was little… Every time my dad went on a mission, I never knew if he would come home… and if he did come home, when he would be sent to the hospital… I could always hear my mom cry… what if I put her through that? I am scared… not of monsters or boogeymen" she nodded toward the television. "I'm scared of me, what we might learn, who I might become. What If I'm not strong enough…" she looked back at her best friend and sighed "What if I mess up, and you or Choji get hurt…"

"Stop" His voice was soft but firm and he scooted forward toward her slightly, taking his hand gently up and down her shin, attempting to comfort her "Isn't it my job to overthink everything?" he gave her a reassuring smile "Besides, that's what training is for, our families have always been great working together, we will be too"

She sighed and pushed her hair behind her ear "that's not fair. You and Choji are already stronger than me….and I swear to god if you tell him I admitted that I'll cut your hair in your sleep…"

Shikamaru let a small laugh escape his lips and earned another soft punch from the blonde before she continued

"Shut up I'm serious. Whenever I'm alone or on lookout duty every shadow I see freaks me out..." she shivered and pushed a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear.

Shikamaru made a disgruntled face and held up one finger to her to wait. He jumped off the bed and walked over to her desk, grabbing the lamp and bringing it back over to her bed, he plugged it in by her nightstand and aimed the beam of light at her wall "Lucky for you, I am the master of shadows" he flashed her a devilish smile and earned a grin from her in response

"what are you doing Shika?" she laughed and watched as he made a few hand gestures.

"I'm making shadow puppets. Now shut up I'm trying to make a point, look" he smirked and Ino reluctantly obeyed

"When I was little I was afraid of the shadows too… but then my dad taught me that every shadow is just light bending off of something that my mind already understands… see…" he made the shadow of a bunny, a dog and a tree, trying to earn a laugh from the distraught blonde. When it didn't work he sighed and sat back down on her bed. "come here" he held out a hand for her to take it and she did. He pulled her close to him and into his lap, letting her back rest against his chest and he took her hands in his, using the four hands and twenty fingers to twist into strange shapes and shadows on the wall "these shadows are just us…and that's not scary right…" he whispered to her softly and she leaned into his chest for comfort, letting him continue to play with her hands in his.

"no" the words barely escaped her lips and she kept her eyes focused on the figures dancing on her wall. "But you can actually control shadows…I can't… My mind jutsu is strong but it is dangerous for me too… what if I miss? Besides…I always fall…" she sighed and could feel her nervousness slowly sinking back into her.

"That's okay…" he let his chin rest on her shoulder "I promise I will always be there to catch you." His voice was serious but soft, and for the first time in a few weeks Ino had felt calm and confident.

"Thank you Shika." She smiled a small smile and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting there in an embrace "You're the best friend I could ever ask for"

Shikamaru felt the blush reach his cheeks and he was glad she couldn't see it. He smoothed her hair and pat her back softly "I know." He chuckled and earned a jab in his ribcage….

Ino wiped a few fallen tears from her cheeks. "Too bad you didn't keep that promise" she whispered to herself in the small cold bathroom. She tossed the small stick into the trashcan and stood up to look at herself in the mirror. She wouldn't torture herself like that again. Shikamaru was gone, he had been gone for a long time, and he hadn't cared enough to talk to her in what felt like half a lifetime. She was pregnant. She was alone, and she needed to be strong. Life happens. She pulled her hair back into a high bun and walked out of the bathroom, letting the door shut behind her. She had to let the world know her fate.

Present Day: Shikamaru

"Ino is pregnant."

Those were the last words that made their way through Shikamaru's ears. After those words his entire world seemed to stop turning. He sat there unmoving as the scene around him continued in silent slow motion around him. He stared at Choji's mouth, he could see it continued to move but Shikamaru couldn't hear it. He felt the darkness build in him again, he could feel the sludge oozing back out of every pore. His body felt heavy. He was going to be sick he thought. A child, growing inside Ino. He pictured her glowing and swollen. He remembered the way she used to touch him, he could still feel her palm on his cheeks, his chest, he felt her lips pedal soft on his. He imagined the way she used to wrap herself around him until they would become one. Ino was pregnant. He then saw her placing those soft kisses on another strange man, and he could feel his heart shattering all over again. His body felt hot with anger and regret and sadness. Pregnant. That's when he realized that there were hot tears rolling down his cheeks. He hadn't even realized he was crying.

"Shikamaru?" He heard Choji calling his name but he couldn't seem to make his lips form a response. He saw the large ninja before him make a saddened expression and push another shot towards him in encouragement. Shikamaru glanced down at the small glass but he couldn't make his body move to pick it up. His brain was either moving too fast or too slow to function. He couldn't tell which one. He took another moment to try to find movement in his body, and he barely found the strength to whisper the one thing that mattered to him.

"Is…Is she happy…Choji…Is she happy?" He didn't think he wanted to know the answer. Fore it was surely just going to push another pin into his chest.

Choji took in the look of his best friend and he admired the strength there. If it weren't for the tears pouring down his face Choji wouldn't have been able to read the brunettes expression at all. "I don't know…I think she hasn't decided yet…she is being strong… like she always is. Mostly I think she's scared." He sighed and traced his finger over the rim of his glass.

Scared. Shikamaru nodded once and bit his tongue "who's the father?" He was scared of the answer. But he decided he needed to know. He wanted to know who to hate other than himself.

Choji gave Shikamaru a disappointed look but sighed in understanding. "I don't know man. She's not a relationship person…. anymore I guess."

"teh… she never really was" Shikamaru snapped

Choji scowled "Watch yourself, I'm telling you this out of respect. Aren't you with Temari?" he raised an accusatory eyebrow "I'm in a really fucking awkward position right now Shikamaru. The two of you are my best friends…and I know you have a history…but you talk down about her and I will punch you so hard you'll start calling me daddy." He warned

Shikamaru sighed and rubbed at his temples for a moment before he finally picked up the shot in front of him, downed it and quickly followed it with another. He still felt numb. But not numb enough. The reality was setting in on him and he was quickly moving forward with the seven stages of grief "your right…I'm sorry… I just didn't…expect this yet."

Choji pressed his lips into a hard line and gave the brunette a sharp nod before he sighed and gestured to the bartender to bring out some beer. "I know man…I know… but Ino… you fucked her up man… she doesn't really date… I'm sure she has plenty of company on cold nights, look at her…but I really don't think she has a boyfriend."

Shikamaru stayed silent. It took him years to get Ino to realize that he loved her. Years of watching her crush over their classmates and fellow ninja. Whenever he would think they had a moment, the next day it was almost like she had forgotten. She refused to see him as a man for quite some time. It was torture for him, because he had always known she was what he wanted, He had first realized he loved her when they were children… He could still remember the exact moment flashing through his mind.

It was just another day for Shikamaru, they had gone to school, the three of them decided to spend the night in the Nara household, that night was different however… The three of them had passed out in front of the television. Shikamaru remembered that it had begun storming, he had always slept soundly through storms. He found them comforting. Ino on the other hand had always had the opposite reaction. She usually woke up in a terror and coward deeper into her blankets… but that night she had decided to gently shake the brunette awake.

"Shikamaru?" he could still hear her soft voice, see her sleepy and slightly disheveled bedhead and worried blue eyes as he leaned up to look at her

"Ino? What is it?" he asked tiredly and Ino gave a small pout. Her tiny pink lips worried he would say no.

"Will you hold me?" Shikamaru saw the want in her eyes and like a puppet she pulled on his heartstrings. "You make me feel safe."

Shikamaru felt his heart swell at the sight of her. He managed a sleepy nod and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her under his blankets and let her press her back against his chest. He could feel her warmth, and the smell of her hair surrounded him messy and free. It was the first time he had ever wanted to be that close to another person, and it was that moment that he realized he loved her like nothing else he had ever loved before. That was the best night's sleep he ever had.

Shikamaru pulled himself out of his memory, it was almost too painful to think about now. He looked back up at his best friend pouring him a beer and the brunette sighed and wiped away his tears.

"I'm sorry. Thank you for telling me… It's not really my business…but I'm glad I got to hear it from you…" His voice was still at a whisper. He couldn't manage much else "She probably doesn't want me to know anyway."

Choji sighed and shook his head "Shikamaru…. What are you doing here… you need to come home. You hate it here…I can see it in your eyes…. Your mother misses you every day… I miss you… you need to face your demons brother… You can't keep hiding here forever…" he placed a hand on Shikamaru's shoulder and pressed his lips into a firm serious line "I want you to come back with me. Just for a little while?"

Shikamaru locked his jaw and he shook his head "I don't know Choji. I haven't been there in too long… and I know I'm going to run into her…and I haven't talked to her since that day… the day I left. The day we broke up. I don't know if I could handle it." He gripped his glass in his hands and looked down at his reflection in the liquid. Broken and sad.

Choji gave him a reassuring pat. "You need to...you both need to…please…If not for you…than for me. It will be good for everyone."

Shikamaru sighed and took another drink "well then…I guess I better go pack…"

Sorry for the wait guys, this chapter was really hard for me to write, but hopefully the ShikaIno Cheese satisfied your hunger. Chapter 4 will be really stressful for our angsty brunette; I'll be sure to post soon. Please feel free to comment and ask me questions! You guys are great 3


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